February 18, 2023

January 29, 2025

Our breakup message is SO successful

Cat Noone, Co-Founder & CEO of Stark, shares her breakup message and the why behind its success.

pascal's notes

Episode Transcript

One of many reactions I got to last week’s post about why you should send a breakup message when getting ghosted 👻.

This one came from Cat Noone, Co-Founder & CEO of Stark. A follow-up discussion led to her sharing how Stark sends breakup messages and why they work so well.

It was too good not to share with you too!

Let’s start with Stark’s actual breakup message:

Hello everyone,

Looping back here as it seems like this isn’t a massive priority right now for y’all, and I want to be sure that I don’t swarm your inbox.

With that said, we’ll close this convo out for now on our end, but you can absolutely pick it back up whenever you want! We definitely want to work with you all at [Company], and are more than happy to continue the process once you’re ready.

Hope to talk soon!

Here’s what’s happening psychologically to trigger a high response rate:

  1. Perception: Stark includes everyone that attended the meeting(s) in the breakup email (“Hello everyone”). Perception to the wider whole is a powerful drug in corporates, especially for “higher ups”.
  2. Accountability: Stark states boldly that “this isn’t a massive priority” for the company which creates accountability for them / they recognize that it makes them look bad. Stark’s products help make software accessible to people with disabilities - no one wants to be seen as not prioritizing accessibility.
  3. Creating accountability works for almost any product (i.e. implying a potential customer “doesn’t care about saving cost”, “giving their people the best tools to be successful”, etc.). When doing so, don’t point fingers / be too aggressive about making your prospect(s) look bad though. Implying it the way Stark does works best.
  4. Clear Why: Give them a clear “why” you’re stopping the process (“don’t want to swarm your inbox”). This is creates a positive signal as you don’t want to tarnish the relationship with bad sales tactics (i.e. continue spamming them).
  5. Focus & Scarcity: By closing it out from their end, Stark portraits their ability to focus on higher impact priorities (while the customer can’t seem to) and increases their perceived “importance” by invoking a “scarcity effect” (us humans place a higher value on an object that is perceived to be scarce).
  6. Open Door: Leave the door open and end with kindness: “We definitely want to work with you all, and are more than happy to continue the process once you’re ready”. This shows the prospect that you have no hard feelings and makes it easier for them to come back (don’t also have to overcome their own ego when coming back).

To summarize it in Cat’s own words:

This breakup message is kind and respectful while at the same time very honest with reasons, expectations and accountability at the helm. That’s how any breakup should happen.

Well said, thank you for sharing Cat!

-------

👋 - Looking For Pre-Seed Funding?

At focal, we lead pre-seed rounds backing software / platform / infrastructure builders across the 🇺🇸/ 🇨🇦 reinventing how industries operate and business is done.

Featured Resources

June 6, 2023

January 29, 2025

Introducing findfunding.vc 🧨
We're thrilled to announce the launch of our open source VC database - findfunding.vc
company news

April 26, 2023

January 29, 2025

focal is live 👋
We just launched our firm's new name and bold brand: focal
company news

June 13, 2025

June 13, 2025

Speed Is Your Only Advantage
(3/3) Chewing glass through endless pivots: The pivot playbook with Han Wang, Co-Founder and CEO of Mintlify who found product-market-fit after 8 pivots in 14 months.
pascal's notes

June 12, 2025

June 12, 2025

If, when, and how to Pivot: Lessons from 8 Pivots in 14 Months
(2/3) Chewing glass through endless pivots: The pivot playbook with Han Wang, Co-Founder and CEO of Mintlify who found product-market-fit after 8 pivots in 14 months.
pascal's notes

June 11, 2025

June 11, 2025

Bet on a Space You Care About, Not a Specific Idea
(1/3) Chewing glass through endless pivots: The pivot playbook with Han Wang, Co-Founder and CEO of Mintlify who found product-market-fit after 8 pivots in 14 months.
pascal's notes

July 13, 2023

January 29, 2025

🧱#8: The VC Rebrand Guide
Rebranding and revamping your website is no easy task. We lay out step-by-step how we did it for focal, all the way to launch.
brick by brick

April 12, 2023

January 29, 2025

🧱#7: Navigating Year-End
Now that the busy year-end season is (mostly) behind us, we look back at the operational lessons we've learned in the last six months.
brick by brick

March 20, 2023

January 29, 2025

🧱#6: On Point Offsite
In January, we had a week-long team offsite across Virginia & Miami. While the primary draw was to see each other, reconnect, & align, we also got a ton of work done. Here's what we learned.
brick by brick
No items found.

June 11, 2025

June 11, 2025

5YF Episode #38: Graphite Co-Founder & CEO Merrill Lutsky
The 100X Engineer, Vibe Coding Bottlenecks, Agents As Evaluators, AI Roll-ups w/ Graphite Co-Founder & CEO Merrill Lutsky
5 year frontier

May 14, 2025

June 11, 2025

5YF Episode #37: AIRCO Co-Founder & CEO Greg Constantine
Global Energy Race, Creating With Carbon, CO2 As Fuel, Powering Mars w/ AIRCO Co-Founder & CEO Greg Constantine
5 year frontier

April 30, 2025

April 30, 2025

5YF Episode #36: Clari Co-Founder & CEO Andy Byrne
Sales Co-Pilots, AI Revenue Intelligence, Procurement Agents, and the CRO in 2030 w/ Clari Co-Founder & CEO Andy Byrne
5 year frontier